I have had two major relationships that had put me in a position to have a conversation with God about forgiveness. These are the lessons God has shared with me to help me move on from my hurt and bitterness.
- Forgiveness is for the Giver.
Look closely at the word “for-give-r,” is self-explanatory. It means forgiveness is meant for the one that is giving it and not for the one who is receiving it. What exactly do you need to give? You are basically giving them grace. When we pray we say, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that have trespassed against us.” We ask God/Source to forgive us but what does that mean? It means he/she affords us grace, which is, “unmerited favor.”
- Forgiveness Gives Us an Opportunity to Play God.
God gives you an opportunity to be Him/Her. You are put on a pedestal, on God’s seat to exercise judgment, and at that moment, Heaven watches how you will exercise your authority over others. The question is, will you act in kindness, grace, and, compassion or will you choose otherwise? That opportunity “to be God” is given to us every day since we are all made in his likeness; we are one with Him/Her always. Your ability to forgive your offender means you are taking that opportunity to be the God of love, kindness, and compassion, but your unforgiveness means you are denying yourself your ‘godliness’ in thought, words, and action. You are denying your oneness with your God/Source.
- Forgiveness is the Ability to Understand the Person/Offender’s Weakness.
When you understand that weakness, it makes it easier for you to manage it. You need to apply understanding, which is an automatic feature of love. Let’s use an example where you could have expected your friend to be there for you when you needed them, and they were not there for you.
How does the principle of understanding work in this case? There are two base emotions, fear or love and our actions are informed by either. Your friend might have been overwhelmed by the responsibility to take care of you and her own responsibilities. Fear said, ‘‘you will not be able to, it’s too much, you do not have enough, therefore run.” Applying understanding means you put yourself in her shoes when she made that choice. It also puts you where God is and how he operates. It makes you afford others the same grace you receive on a daily basis. None of us are perfect and most of the things we complain about from other people are the things that we do to others in many different ways. Often unforgiveness is not in question but lack of understanding is.
- Forgiveness can be Likened to Detoxification.
There are always two ends to everything, in one end is love and the other is forgiveness. It is important to keep that which works for you but everything that does not work for you must go. To move on to progress you will need to detoxify, and forgiveness is a powerful tool to do that! Unforgiveness blocks and deters blessings in your spiritual life. When your body does not detoxify, numerous diseases will ultimately slow it down to a point of death.
- Forgiveness requires a higher consciousness approach.
There are two ways to look at any situation:
- The Bottom-Up thinking, which will make you struggle to forgive. It’s a man-to-God approach, it’s a lower consciousness approach, and it’s a fear approach. It’s all about survival; man relies on himself for care and protection.
- The Up-Bottom thinking, which will help you to forgive. It’s a God-to-man approach; it’s a higher-consciousness-approach, and it’s a loving approach. The Up-Bottom approach sees and understands all things, making you understand that everything works out for the perfection of all things. No one loses in this approach, for everyone is in the mind of God.
THE SPIRITUAL FORGIVENESS RITUAL:
This can be done whether your offender is passed on or alive. As noted above, it is important for you to “apply understanding.”
Take a moment to journal the following; start by asking yourself:
- If seats were exchanged and you were given your offenders seat, how would you have acted?
- Ask a wisdom question, were they operating from fear or love?
- Ask yourself, if my offender was operating from a space of love, kindness, and compassion, would they have treated you differently?
“Thank you for your grace.
I now take this opportunity to love and act like you.
I extend the same grace of forgiveness you have given to me to _______________. (offender’s name)
I am sharing my energy of kindness, love and compassion with ________________.
I release all negative emotions of anger, resentment, jealousy, lies, pretense, and betrayal from my soul and body.”
Personally, I use water to cleanse myself of negative energy. When I bathe, I will say:
“I cleanse myself of all negative emotions from my experience with _________________”
I also say the same thing whenever I drink water:
“I cleanse myself of all negative toxins in my body that were created from my experience with ________________.”
“My relationship with _________________ is now sound, I choose to see _________________ as a kind, loving, and compassionate being.”
“God/Source, I thank you for the opportunity to extend my godliness to others. Thank you that you will work out this experience with _________________ for my perfection in healing and growth. Thank you that I am now whole. Let it be so, let it be now.”
Remember forgiveness releases grace. It might take time to get to a stage where you can fully demonstrate love to your offender, but you have to adopt a higher consciousness approach and see them as God sees them.
If need be, do this forgiveness ritual until you are at peace.